Diamond
“Do I look like a fool?”
“Do you… what?”
“Oh, don’t sit there like a dish of skim milk. Answer the question. Do I look like a fool?”
“N-n-no! Of course not! No! I would never-“
“Then this is a joke. A little trick. You wish to amuse me. Is that it?”
“I… no. It’s just… I thought…”
“No, you see, that’s exactly the problem. You didn’t think!”
“Please, I-“
“Do you know the difference between a real diamond and a cheap imitation?”
“Um… cost?”
“Cost!?”
“Well, they look the same. Does it really matter?”
“Of course it matters, you nitwit! I specifically told you I needed a diamond and you have the nerve to show up with this and your explanation is cost!”
“But look, see? It’s exactly the size and shape you wanted. And it has the same amount of.. of… what did you call the… sides?”
“Facets.”
“Yes, facets. See? The exact amount you asked for. I was extra careful to make sure it met all of your deman- er, requests.”
“But you haven’t! You ignored the most important part! The part where it’s supposed to be a diamond!”
“Okay! I’m sorry! I was just trying to save us some money. I honestly didn’t see a difference. And truthfully, I still don’t.”
“The key difference is thermal conductivity! A diamond is an extremely efficient thermal conductor! I can’t build the laser with this brilliantly cut chunk of zirconium dioxide!”
“Okay, well… now I know.”
