SAMWACT 6
Semi-Annual Mental Wellness And Clarity Test: 4-AB
Subject #: 622.08 Age: 33 E.Y. BEGIN TRANSMISSION
I am a fine specimen.
I am the finest specimen.
Correction: I am the finest specimen in the great known universe.
It took me a veritable amount of time to come to said conclusion, especially since it took all of my inheritance to carve the fat from my face and plaster it to my biceps. It wasn't until that dreamy dream came true, that I realized I needed to move some of the chub from my butt to my chin, to give it definition.
That was when I filled out my first surgical loan application.
What a rush! After my first approval, it only piqued my interest to get more procedures done.
My elbows are now cutely plump. My butt is round, but firm. My eyes are pointed and daring, to match my eyebrows that have been pushed apart by three extra nano-meters. My lips are voluptuous, inviting you to see the fangs I had to replace my canines with.
New Correction (as I have just had a most glorious epiphany): I am yet to be the finest specimen in the great known universe.
I must have my abdomen replaced with a thorax!
END TRANSMISSION
Subject:
EVALUATION COMPLETE
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